


Three's A Crowd

by redskittles30



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-16 04:32:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1332013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redskittles30/pseuds/redskittles30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex has her cake and wants to eat it too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sharing

**Author's Note:**

> Back with a new multi-chap fic. As always, feedback is welcomed, appreciated, and encouraged. Let me know what you think and enjoy!

Sunlight leaked through the cracks of the blinds as Alex stirred in bed. Blinking a few times, she moved to grab her phone from the nightstand and opened up a text message that simply read “ _Good Morning :)”_ She smiled at the message andmoved again to put the phone back on the table as a muscular arm tightened around her waist and felt stubble scratch her neck and shoulder as Servando planted a kiss on her neck.

“Babe stop stirring, I’m trying to sleep.” He mumbled.

“Sorry Serv. You sleep some more and I’m going to make coffee.” Alex giggled as she gave him a kiss and disappeared into the kitchen.

As the smell of fresh brewed coffee traveled into the bedroom, Servando stretched and got up and head to the kitchen. He was greeted with a smiling Alex who was busy reading the newspaper munching on an apple. He gave her a kiss and grabbed the parts of the newspaper Alex wasn’t reading as he sipped on his coffee.

“So do you have any plans today? Can I selfishly keep you for another day from your busy life?” Servando piped up after a few minutes. Alex smiled at him apologetically.

“Sorry babe but I have a meeting with my agent later. You don’t have practice today?”

“No that’s tomorrow.”

“Oh I’m sorry. Well it is 10 now and I technically don’t have to leave for home til 12 so we can lounge around til then?” She offered. He smiled back at her and the two cuddled up on the couch for the remainder of her visit. 12 came and she kissed him goodbye and that she would text him later and left.

Alex got home around 12:30 and smiled proudly to herself that she timed everything perfectly. She didn’t have to meet her agent til 4 so she kicked her shoes off by the door, put her keys and purse down on the counter, and headed for her bedroom. When she opened the door she grinned and jumped on the bed.

“Wake up sunshine!” Alex jumped on the figure and bounced up and down. Tobin jolted awake but then grinned goofily when she noticed it was Alex.

“Hey Lex. When did you get home?”

“A few minutes ago. And really Tobin? A nap already? It’s only 1230!” Alex mused.

“Hey, naptime is appropriate any time of the day!” Tobin protested.

“Yeah sure, whatever you say. So what do you say we go bike riding? It’s a nice day and I don’t have to meet my agent til 4. What do you say?”

Tobin thought about it for a second and looked out the window and noticed that it seemed to be a really nice day out. However, she turned her attention back to Alex and smiled brightly as she ran her hands up and down Alex’s sides.

“How about we bike ride tomorrow and right now we relax and cuddle? I missed you yesterday.”

Alex tapped her chin pretending to think over her options even though once Tobin finished her sentence she had already agreed. She rolled off Tobin and cuddled into her side and slung her arm over her waist as Tobin tugged her closer. Alex then leaned up and kissed Tobin on the lips.

“Oh and good morning to you too.” Alex smiled.

“Technically it’s afternoon.” Tobin pointed out.

“Well to you miss nappy, it’s good morning. But fine. Good afternoon.” Alex kissed her again.

“Mmm, good afternoon indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if I'm going to have Servando and Tobin know about each other's relationship with Alex yet or not. What do you guys think?


	2. Tobin?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wandering Eyes Realize...

A couple days later, Tobin had gone surfing with Kelley and was waiting for Alex to come home from her photo shoot.

_Jiggle. Jiggle. Jiggle._

“Honey! I’m homeee!” Alex giggled as she opened the front door.

“Babe?”

Silence.

“Toooobyyyy?”

Alex frowned as she set her stuff on the counter and grabbed a bottle of water and headed towards her bedroom.

“BOO!” Tobin screamed as she jumped from behind the couch.

“AHH! TOBIN WHAT THE HELL?!” Alex shrieked jumping 5 feet in the air throwing her water bottle from the surprise and Tobin just about fell over from laughing.

“Tobin you scared the crap out of me! Stop laughing it’s not funny! What were you doing behind the couch anyway?! Didn’t you hear me calling for you?” Alex stuck her hands on her hips and glared at Tobin.

“I’m sorry babe but... I heard you messing with the lock and… I couldn’t resist...” Tobin managed to get out between fits of laughter.

Alex was not amused.

“Awe come on Lex don’t be like that.”

Tobin walked over and pecked Alex on the lips and grinned.

Tobin gripped at her hips and nuzzled her nose with Alex’s.

A twitch of the lips but still nothing.

Tobin snaked her arms around her waist and locked around the small of her back just barely dipping her fingertips under the band of Alex’s pants and licked the tip of her nose.

Sold!

“You’re too cute for your own good.”

Tobin just grinned goofily and kissed Alex again. The two decided to order Chinese and watch House Hunters. A while later with Alex falling asleep on the couch, the two decided to head to bed. Tobin went to brush her teeth while Alex sat up in bed scrolling through twitter as she received a message. She shot off a quick message before Tobin returned.

**Servando: Goodnight beautiful. I’ll text you tomorrow after practice.**

**Alex: Good night handsome. Good luck tomorrow :)**

Alex closed out just as Tobin came back in. Thankfully Tobin never asked questions and went with the flow. The two settled under the sheets and Tobin tugged her closer.

“Goodnight Lex. I love you.”

“I love you too Toby.”

\--------------------

The next morning, Alex was making omelets and coffee when a sleepy Tobin entered rubbing her eyes.

“Morning.”

“Morning babe, breakfast will be ready in 5.”

“Sounds great! I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.” Alex giggled.

The two sat down to breakfast and enjoyed the comfortable silence.

“So I have to go meet with the people at Playmaker but I should be home around 6. Do we have dinner plans?” Tobin piped up.

“Sorry but not tonight. I’m going shopping with Sydney then meeting up with an old friend from college and spending the night. But I should be back midafternoon tomorrow. You still owe me a bike ride.”

“Okay sounds like a plan. I better get ready.”

Tobin got up to put her dish in the sink and disappeared into the bedroom. Alex finished up and put her dish in the sink as well and grabbed her phone.

**Alex: I’ll be leaving in like an hour**

**Servando: Can’t wait :)**

Alex jumped in the shower and heard a knock on the door before Tobin entered. Alex poked her head from the shower, kissed Tobin and promised to text her later. With that, Tobin was gone and Alex finished getting ready.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

“You take forever!”

“I can go home or make other plans.”

“No! No! I’m kidding.” Servando tugged Alex inside and kissed her.

“So I say we go to the beach today and then have dinner at Boat House. What do you think?” Alex smiled and the two got ready.

Alex and Servando arrived at the beach and set down their towels and headed for the water. After playing in the water and then making a sand castle that failed miserably, the two decided to lay out for some tanning. A while later, the two headed back to Servando’s to shower and get ready for Boat House.

It was a beautiful night in LA; the air was warm and was complimented with a slight breeze and the usually hidden stars from the bright lights of the city seemed to pop in the sky. The two sat down in the outside eating area on the rooftop that overlooked the city. It was simple and perfect. After dinner, the two walked around for a while before heading home.

“Dinner was amazing Serv. Thank you.”

“Anything for an amazing girl.” He smiled brightly and kissed her.

Alex headed for the bathroom to get ready leaving her phone on the table by her side of the bed not thinking anything of it. Servando tossed his shirt aside and slid on shorts as he heard Alex’s phone buzz. He ignored it and slid into bed and turned on the tv. Alex’s phone buzzed again. He ignored it again; it was her business anyway. Alex still had not come out and yet again her phone buzzed. Getting a little worried, Servando grabbed the phone from the table and peaked at the messages. _Maybe it was important._

**Tobin: Goodnight gorgeous. Text me tomorrow <3**

Servando stared at the phone as Alex entered the bedroom.

“Hey Serv whatcha doing on my phone?” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“Oh nothing. It buzzed three times so I was just checking to make sure it wasn’t your mom with an emergency or anything. But it’s all good.” He forced a smile and while a little weary, smiled at him and got into bed. She snuggled into him and while he didn’t really squeeze back, she didn’t question it and focused on the TV. A few minutes later, Servando cleared his throat.

“So I have a question for ya.”

“Sure what’s up?” She replied not looking away from the TV.

“Who is Tobin and why did she text you good night gorgeous with a heart?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry. Juicier chapters will be coming!


	3. He Finds Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Make a choice. But who is the right choice?

Her blood went cold as she paled in the face and her breath hitched in her throat. She tensed and she prayed to GOD the he didn’t feel it. _Just play it cool._

“I’m sorry what?” Alex cocked her head and looked at him sideways trying to read his facial expression.

“Who is Tobin and why did they text you ‘Good night gorgeous with a heart’? The only Tobin I know is your best friend but why would she text you that?”

Alex gulped and put on what she hoped was a good poker face. She took a second to find a good excuse and words spluttered from her mouth before her brain could fully process it.

“Yes it is the Tobin you know but it’s nothing. She’s probably drunk; you know Tobin doesn’t drink because she is an extreme lightweight. She texted me something similar like that once a long time ago when she was uncharacteristically smashed one night. We just laughed about it the next day.” She tried to gauge his reaction but he was wearing a poker face of his own.

“That’s it?” He asked unconvinced.

“Yeah, there isn’t more to it than that. I’ll have to call her out on it either tomorrow or the next day and make fun of her.” She forced a laugh and he was still uneasy.

“Are you sure there isn’t something you’re not telling me?” She was growing annoyed but bit her tongue knowing that he would grow more suspicious with a huge lash out.

“Yes Serv I promise. Besides, I don’t appreciate you going through my phone and then questioning me about it. I have nothing to hide so let’s drop it and relax please.” They were in stare down when finally he blinked and looked away.

“Okay. I’m sorry and I love you.” He gave up and kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you and I love you too.”

\--------------------

Servando didn’t sleep well that night. His mind was racing with a million thoughts and long after Alex had fallen asleep, he was still awake and alone with his thoughts. He looked over at the clock and internally groaned when he read 5:30 am. In her sleep, Alex had turned away from him and curled into a ball on the other side of the bed. Servando flipped to his stomach and buried his face into his pillow and prayed for sleep to take over.

_BuzzBuzzBuzz. BuzzBuzzBuzz._

Servando peaked an eye open to a now semi brighter room. He lifted his head towards the clock that now read 7:45 and his eyes focused in at the lit up screen on the table. ‘ _Should I look? Alex has never given me a reason to not trust her before. No, that is her privacy and I shouldn’t violate it. Alex said there is nothing to worry about, so it is simply that. Nothing.’_

Turning on his back, Servando stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. ‘ _Fuck it.’_ He reached over carefully and quietly and grabbed the phone. One new message. He looked at Alex sleeping soundly for a second. Sighing, he unlocked the phone.

**Tobin: Morning babe. Hope you had fun last night but I missed you and cuddling with a pillow wasn’t nearly as good as cuddling with you. Talk to you later :)**

_‘Pssht. Even if she was drunk last night, she sure as hell would be sober by now. Alex lied straight to my face.’_ Servando put the phone back on the table and stewed for a few minutes before slipping out of bed to make coffee and then headed out to the back and sat by the pool’s edge and stuck his legs in. Swinging his legs back and forth in the water, he sipped his coffee lost in thought.

_‘How could I miss it? I knew they were close but I never knew THIS close. Why would she lie to me? I thought we were happy. We were in a good place or at least I thought so.’_

So lost in thought, he didn’t hear Alex come up behind him.       

“Morning babe. What are you doing out here?” She rasped.

**_Babe._ **

The word made him cringe and think back to the morning’s text message. He ignored her as he swung his legs back and forth staring down at the ripples.

“Serv?” She touched his shoulder and was confused by the very slight twitch away from her touch.

“You lied to me.” It wasn’t a question. Alex was confused and he took her silence as a means to go on.

“You told me it was nothing and Tobin was probably drunk last night. Well that was last night meaning she should be sober by now. She sent another message this morning. Read it and then try to tell me again there is nothing going on.”

His voice was eerily calm as he stared at the water and Alex stood in her spot staring at him. She reached into her pocket and grabbed her phone and clicked her messages. She read it and her stomach dropped. _‘Damnit Tobin, you are too sweet for your own good. Now we are in a mess.’_

“Serv I can-“

“Do you or do you not have something going on with Tobin?” He cut her off.

“It’s complicated.”

“No, actually it’s not. You either have something going on with Tobin or you don’t; which is confusing because I thought you had something with me.” He stood up and faced her.

“It’s not. You know I. I never meant…. Yes, there is something between me and Tobin.” She finally gave in. He was quiet for a moment with an unreadable expression.

“How long and why?”

“About a year and I don’t really know. Things kind of just happened.” He scoffed.

“A year?! A year?! That’s 365 days you’ve been dating Tobin as well as me!” Alex looked down.

“Unbelievable!” He yelled and turned away from her. They were quiet for a few minutes when Alex broke the silence.

“I love you.”

“Bullshit! If you loved me you wouldn’t be fucking cheating on me for the last year of our relationship. And not only are you cheating on me, you are cheating on me with your best friend…. Who is a fucking girl! So no, I really don’t think you love me.” He spat

“I’m sorry, I didn’t ask for this to happen! I didn’t ask to fall in love with Tobin! It just happened and it was shitty timing because I’m in love with you as well. I fell for both of you!” Alex tried to explain.

“You can’t love two people at the same Alex! It doesn’t fucking work like that!” He screamed and gripped the coffee mug until his knuckles were white.

“Well it did happen! Don’t tell me how to feel! You can’t tell me how I feel! I love you with all my heart. It just so happens, somewhere down the line I fell for Tobin and I love her with all my heart as well. And what did I tell you about going through my phone?! That’s my privacy and you violated it!” She fired back. He laughed.

“Do you realize how that sounds?! How can you love me with ALL of your heart when you also gave your heart to Tobin? If you share your heart with two people, each person is going to have a piece missing. How do you think this makes me feel Alex? I gave you ALL of my heart and only you and I have been nothing but honest with you and tried to give you everything you wanted. Now I come to find out that you have been lying to me and cheating on me. And what makes this the game winner is it’s with your best friend who is a girl. This is such bullshit Alex! Complete fucking bullshit! You are selfish, a liar, and a cheater! How can I ever trust you again?! And I honestly don’t give a damn about invading your privacy! If I hadn’t, I would still be looking like a fool and a sucker in love with you while you date me and Tobin!” He screamed and smashed his coffee mug to the ground and stomped off slamming the sliding glass doors shut in the process.

Alex stood frozen in her spot speechless. Servando’s words echoed in her ear and spun around her head and soon she felt dizzy. She sat in a chair with her head in her hands and sobbed. How did she get herself into this mess? She didn’t ask for this. She didn’t ask to fall in love with Tobin; it just happened. Sure they were always close, but something had shifted in the friendship and both were on board with it. She was great TO Alex and she was great FOR Alex. It’s just she felt the same towards Servando. After a while, Alex wiped her face and headed inside. She found Servando in the living room staring at the TV but she could tell he wasn’t watching it. As soon as she was close enough to him and before she could say anything, he spoke.

“I love you Alex but you need to go. You can’t love two people at the same time despite what you believe and what you think you feel. Figure your shit out and call me when you make a decision.” Without another word Alex grabbed her stuff and left.

\------------------

The ride home was a blur and it felt like it didn’t even happen. It was like one second she was in Servando’s condo, and then she blinked and she was at the front of her own condo. She opened the door to find the condo empty and she didn’t know whether to be relieved or sad. She walked to her bedroom and sat against the headboard on the bed with her knees to her chest and she cried. She cried long and hard as her mind raced with a million different thoughts. While she was caught off guard with how her and Tobin happened, she would be lying if she told herself she couldn’t have seen it coming. The lingering touches, the friendly cuddling, the catching of Tobin staring at her from the corner of her, and the times she caught herself staring at Tobin when Tobin wasn’t looking. Tobin was special and perfect to Alex. And Servando? He was a similar story like Tobin. He was the Prince Charming of the story books. Tall and handsome, an athlete like herself, funny and witty. What was not to like? Servando and Tobin were literally the same person just different genders. So how do you choose between two perfect people?

Alex had exhausted herself and didn’t know she fell asleep until she felt a featherlike kiss on her neck and a hand under her shirt outlining each and every cut and line of her abs. She peaked an eye open to see Tobin smiling down at her.

“Hi there beautiful. I missed you.” She leaned and kissed Alex.

Alex beamed a smile and reached her hand up to trace Tobin’s perfect jawline affectionately. Tobin grinned and closed her eyes as she leaned into Alex’s touch. She opened her eyes to stare into her favorite baby blues but frowned when she was met with a stormy blue-ish gray gaze.

“Your eyes are gray. What’s wrong?” She asked in a gentle voice and Alex cracked right then and there. She sobbed and her body shook and Tobin laid back and immediately pulled Alex on top of her. Alex buried her face into Tobin’s neck and cried. Tobin rubbed her back soothingly as Alex’s body shook.

“It’s okay babygirl. I’m right here. I love you.”                                       

After a while, Alex’s sobs subsided and it was silent. She listened to Tobin’s heartbeat as it lulled her close to sleep. Tobin felt Alex’s breathing start to even out.

“Go to sleep Lex. I’ll be right here when you wake up. I love you.”

_‘That’s the problem’_ Alex thought to herself but buried deeper into Tobin’s neck and chest as she shut her eyes and drifted to sleep.


	4. She Can't Let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask for advice if you're going to ignore it in the end.

Twelve hours of sleep and she was still exhausted. Her head was pounding and her eyes burned while her body was on fire thanks to Tobin acting like a human heater. **Tobin.** While Servando found out and was hurting, Tobin was continuing to live clueless and falsely happy and it made her sick to know that she was hurting Tobin and Tobin didn’t even know it. Alex slid gently out of her embrace and out of the bed thanking GOD Tobin slept like she was dead; completely opposite to her light sleeper ways. As quickly and quietly as she could, Alex roamed around the room and packed a small suitcase. She then grabbed a piece of paper and pen.

**Toby,**

**I’ve gone to my parents to sort a few things out. I should be gone no longer than a week. Please don’t call because I need to concentrate on stuff at home and I promise to call you when everything is sorted out. I love you so much.**

**Lex <3**

Alex folded the note in half and placed in the nightstand. She leaned down and placed a featherlike kiss on Tobin’s lips, smiled down at Tobin who smiled in her sleep, and grabbed her suitcase and left. Throwing her suitcase in the backseat, Alex climbed in and headed off to Diamond Bar.

\--------------------

The time away from everything was exactly what Alex needed. Spending time with her parents and sisters always cheered her up and she felt so free. A few days after her arrival, Alex and her sister Jeri were lounging poolside in the backyard.

“Jer, I have to talk to you about something but I don’t know how to put it.” Alex stated timidly.

“Don’t think, just say it. You know that you can tell me anything.” Jeri gently responded sensing her younger sister’s hesitation.

“Well, you know that I have been dating Servando for quite some time now.” She paused and Jeri nodded for her to continue.

“Well… I’m kinda sorta maybe dating someone else at the same time. He found out and he is mad and not only do I feel guilty about that, the other person doesn’t know about Servando.”

Jeri was quiet for a moment with shock which quickly faded and a knowing smirk appeared. “It’s Tobin isn’t it?” Alex’s eyes grew wide as her jaw dropped.

“How did you? When did? You knew? Wait what?!” Alex stuttered.

“Al, you may think you are slick and all, but I see how you and Tobin are with each other, especially when you think no one is paying attention to you two. You two are pretty much attached to the hip and you both are totally the same. When you are not looking, you should see how she stares at you with nothing but adoration and affection in her eyes. It’s the same exact way you look at her when she isn’t looking.”

“Oh.” That’s all she could manage to say.

Alex didn’t know whether to believe that her sister was that observant or that her and Tobin weren’t as discreet as they thought they were. She thought she was being careful around her family due to Tobin’s wishes of keeping things semi quiet until they figured out when and how to go completely public with their relationship. She sighed as she sat up to fully face her sister.

“So what do I do?”

“I can’t really answer that for you baby sister. You need to figure out for yourself who and what you really want.”

“That’s the problem. Servando and Tobin are both perfect and are literally the same person just different genders. I don’t know who to pick.”

“I understand where you are coming from Alex but you need to pick one because it’s not fair to any of you. It’s not fair to put this burden on yourself and constantly worry and feel guilty. It’s not fair to either of them because they both love you and think they have all of your heart. Yes, Servando now knows about Tobin, but I’m assuming Tobin doesn’t know about Servando? That’s even more unfair because she is in the dark and thinks nothing is wrong. While you can love two people, you can only be IN love with one person. Unfortunately, you have to figure that out on your own but I will help and support you with whatever you decide.” Jeri smiled warmly at Alex and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

“Thanks Jeri. You always somehow find a way to make me feel better. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

A while later, Alex started to fall asleep while tanning when Jeri’s phone began to ring. Jeri looked over at a completely unaware Alex and smirked. She silenced her phone and pretended to answer.

“Hello? Yes? Oh my god is everything okay? Yes of course! We will be right there!” At the sound of the panic in Jeri’s voice, Alex looked over.

“Alex! We have to go right now! Your lover is in the hospital!”

“OMG IS TOBIN OKAY?! WHAT HAPPENED?!” Alex shot up from her chair. Jeri smirked and laughed at her sister.

“Oh Tobin is just fine, but I think I just found a way I could help you decide.” Alex just stared wide eyed at Jeri and Jeri just laughed again.

“I specifically used the word lover because it’s a general term. Without knowing if it was Servando or Tobin, you said the first name that came to mind. Looks like you just made your decision baby sister. And you’re welcome.” Alex finally seemed to catch on.

“While that was a terrible trick and you’re a jerk and never do that again, you are actually very helpful when you want to be. Thanks Jeri!”

“You’re welcome.”

\--------------------

The next morning, Alex had packed up and got in her car in route to Servando’s. After thinking long and hard after Jeri’s little stunt, Alex’s clouded mind had become clear. While she loved Servando dearly, she was IN love with a certain tanned midfielder from New Jersey. After the hour or so drive, Alex had pulled up to the front of Servando’s condo. She shut off the engine and sat in the driver’s seat just staring out the window.

_Okay you can do this. Just go in, break the news, and then you’re on your way home to Tobin. Oh god Tobin. I haven’t talked to her in a week! I need to call her once I’m out of here and on the way home. I can’t wait to see her even though I have to tell her what’s been going on. I need to lay it all out there and be honest with her. Yeah some could say she doesn’t need to know, especially if it’s over with Servando. But no more lying! It makes me sick to my stomach and I don’t want to lie to her. No, not anymore because she doesn’t deserve that. She deserves better._

Alex let out a sigh as she found courage to shake from her thoughts and headed to Servando’s front door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Her stomach was twisting and she anxiously shifted from foot to foot waiting for him to answer. Finally the door opened and Servando appeared looking surprised but then joy that he tried to play off as nonchalant.

“Alex.” He deadpanned.

“Hey, can I come in and we talk?”

“Of course. Come on in.” He stepped aside and Alex made her way into the condo and into the living room and sat down on the couch.

“Serv, we have a lot to discuss.” She ran her hand through her hair.

“Yes we do. No matter what you have to tell me, I must tell you this first and then I will accept in stride with whatever your decision is. Alex, I love you with all my heart. I am sorry for yelling at you like I did but I was completely heartbroken. When I met you, you were different from everyone else. I know that sounds cliché but it’s true. You were aggressive and bossy. You knew what you wanted and never stopped until you got what you wanted. You were so caring and compassionately about everything in your life. Everything from soccer to publishing books, you always had this fire in you that never seemed to be put out. That’s one of the things I loved about you most. When I found out someone else had a part of the heart that I completely engulfed myself with, it broke me. I was mad someone else had their hands on you. I was embarrassed because I was a fool for a year with not knowing you were cheating on me. But most of all I was scared. I was scared that I would lose you. I just wanted to let you know that you’re something special Alex. And after the whirlwind of emotions, I still love you.” He wiped a single tear that had threatened to fall from his eyes and looked Alex in the eye.

Right then and there, she didn’t have the heart to tell him. She spent the next four days with him at his house.

Loving and full of life on the outside, miserable and dead on the inside. It was the perfect way to describe how she was feeling. Pity on Servando had tried to fool her into thinking that choosing him was the correct choice. But the guilt ate away at her and she felt nothing but sadness as she silently longed for Tobin. These weren’t the lips she wanted to taste. These weren’t the hands she wanted exploring her body. The same hands she didn’t want holding hers. But she did it. She walked the city streets holding the bigger and rougher hands. She kissed the lips that didn’t taste like cherry. She let the rough hands fumble around her body like they were exploring for the first time. They even had sex and she never felt so dirty in her life. And long after he had gone to bed holding her by the waist, she would wiggle out of his arms and turn away from him. She would curl in a ball and cry herself to sleep. Because the person sleeping next to her wasn’t the person she wanted. But she chose him out of pity and she had no one to blame but herself.

\--------------------

*Meanwhile back at Alex and Tobin’s Condo*

A big unexpected thunderstorm had literally rained on Tobin and Kelley’s parade of going surfing, so the two had lounged on the couch with Tobin’s computer to search for the Arsenal game.

“I don’t know. It’s been 12 days and I haven’t heard from her. I respected her wishes but she said no more than a week. I don’t know what to do.”

“Yeah but you know how Alex is. I’m sure it’s nothing so stop worrying because worry is not a good look on you. What happened to “Ms. Chill and go with the flow?” Kelley tried to lighten the mood.

“Whoa I still am, just concerned for my girlfriend. I miss her.”

“I know you do buddy, but she will call. I promise.” The two found the game and the conversation was soon forgotten as they cheered on the boys.

After the game had ended with a pouty Tobin as her boys lost, the two were messing around Youtube watching funny videos. They had just got done watching a video of a squirrel on water skies when a clip and headline caught Kelley’s eye. She slapped Tobin’s hand and clicked on the video.

**‘Sorry to disappoint all you boys out there, but it looks like Olympic gold medalist Alex Morgan is spoken for. The soccer star was seen in downtown L.A. with a guy holding hands at an ice cream shop. The star was then spotted a day later shopping with the same gentleman. Whoever this mystery man is, is one lucky guy!’**

Kelley looked over in disbelief at Tobin who was staring at the computer screen with her jaw clenched.

“You know how Tabloids are Tobs. It’s probably-“

Kelley didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence as Tobin had gotten up, put shoes on, and bolted out the door in the blink of an eye. She thought if she ran far enough from the computer, all that stuff wasn’t true. Kelley immediate threw the computer aside, found shoes of her own, and took off after Tobin. She had finally caught up with Tobin enough to see her figure ahead of her.

“Tobin stop! Please! Tobin!” Kelley shouted. But Tobin kept on running and so did Kelley. Kelley’s legs burned trying to keep up with Tobin’s speed but she managed to get within a foot of Tobin and lunged forward tackling the taller girl to the ground.

“Kelley! Get off me!” Tobin wiggled and flailed.

“No! Stop moving! No more running! It’s pouring outside, you have just shorts and a t-shirt on, just stop!” Kelley struggled against a fidgety Tobin.

Finally, Tobin gave up the fight and stared up at Kelley as her tears mixed with the rain and her body slightly shook. Kelley got off Tobin, stood to her feet and then pulled Tobin up.

“Who was that guy?” Tobin asked quietly.

“I don’t know Tobs. She has some explaining to do that’s for sure.” Kelley looked at her with sympathetic eyes and wrapped her arms around Tobin.

“You know you are quite the cliché crying in the rain and all. Never took you for the cliché type” Kelley muttered and felt the vibration of Tobin’s laugh against her neck.

“Come on Tobs. Let’s go home and get you dry and cleaned up.” Kelley wrapped her arm Tobin’s shoulder as the two walked back home together in the rain.

 


	5. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lies will always catch up to you and you may not like the outcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter will suffice. I sort of had writer's block but wanted to get an update so hopefully it's okay. Enjoy!

Tobin’s naturally chill attitude had broken down and left her as a hollow shell of no emotion. She was mentally and emotionally drained and locked herself in the spare bedroom because she didn’t dare stay in the room that she shared with _her._ She didn’t leave the room unless she had to use the bathroom and only ate when Kelley periodically checked on her and left a plate of food on her desk.

After two days, Kelley had enough of mopey Tobin and decided to intervene. She opened the door and sighed as she saw Tobin staring at the ceiling with a blank emotionless expression.

“Tobs you have to get up. Come on, it’s sunny out today. Let’s go to the beach!”

“Come on Tobin. The beach will make you feel better.” Kelley tried again.

A sigh but nothing more.

“Tobin you need to snap out of this and stop dwelling. You’re better than this. Yes you have to talk to her but not right now. What you need is the sun, the beach, waves, and your best friend. Let’s go!” Kelley added a fist pump for good measure despite Tobin not even looking at her.

Tobin was quiet for a moment than something clicked in her. Kelley was right; she was better than this. Surfing with her best friend is exactly what she needed to pull herself out of this funk. Then an idea popped in her head and her smile grew wide. She looked over at Kelley.

“You’re right Kell. Let’s go!” Kelley beamed at her and the two set off for their surfing adventure. Tobin sent a quick text to hopefully get Alex to come home.

_I’m going to make you talk Alex. But I got to make sure you think nothing is wrong and I know nothing._

\--------------------

**Tobin: Hey babe. I know you told me not to contact you but it’s been well past a week and I’m worried about you. I hope you are okay and hope to see you sooner rather than later. I love you gorgeous <3**

Alex read the message and her stomach twisted into knots as she stood on the balcony of Servando’s condo. How could she be so selfish and do this to the girl that gave her everything from heart, soul, and mind? It wasn’t fair to lie to Servando who had been under the impression that all thoughts of Tobin has disappeared from Alex’s mind when it was the complete opposite. Everything they did together, Alex would mentally replace Servando with Tobin. It was even more unfair to Tobin who seemed to be waiting patiently and clueless back at their condo in San Diego. Lost in thought, Alex didn’t hear Servando come up behind her.

“Hey beautiful, want to go to the pier today?” He murmured as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

_I do want to go to the pier but you are not the person I want to go with. This isn’t right. These aren’t the arms I want around me. Your lips aren’t the ones I want to taste. You are not **her.**_

“Serv I really am sorry but I can’t do this. I didn’t mean to lead you on and give you false hope, but you’re not the one for me. The one for me is back in San Diego. We can’t do this anymore.” Alex sighed as she wriggled from his grip and turned to face him.

“But Alex, I thought what we had was special. I don’t understand.”

“You are a great guy Servando and you are going to make some girl really happy one day. It’s just that that girl won’t be me.”

“We can make this work. What did I do wrong? I can fix it.”

“There is nothing left to fix here. What I have to fix is not here.”

“So instead of fixing us and being the dream couple, you would throw it all way for some bitch you were experimenting with? You’re not gay Alex and you belong with me. We are the ideal perfect couple!” Servando shouted. Alex got in his face.

“Don’t you EVER call Tobin some bitch! It is not just an experiment because what I feel for her is real. We even talked about when we should go public with our relationship. Maybe I am gay or maybe I am not but not everything needs a label. All I know is that I may have loved you but I was never IN love with you. I’m IN love with Tobin and I am going home to her. She is my perfect match, not you!”

And with that, Alex pushed past Servando to go back her bag. Servando had followed and screamed at her then backpedaled and tried to plead to her but Alex just bit her tongue as she packed and left without another word. She was finally going home which meant more to her than just a house. Tobin was home.

**Alex: Hey babe, I’m coming home. I love you and see you in an hour <3**

**Tobin: Finally! I’ll see you soon. Love you <3**

\--------------------

Tobin set up everything and sat at the dining room table to wait for Alex. She sat up straight with her hands folded as she faced the door. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for this but she sure was not going to show that. She narrowed at her eyes at the door and waited with the laptop in front of her.

\-------------------

Alex arrived at the complex and pulled into a parking space and cut the engine. She rested her head on the steering wheel and took a few breaths. She wasn’t prepared for this conversation but she knew it had to be done and reasoned that the reward was worth the risk. To come clean meant she would give Tobin ALL of her and be happy and they could move on without this dark cloud looming over.

Alex walked to the front door and jiggled the key in the lock before opening the door to be greeted by Tobin sitting at the dining room table.

“Hey babe! I missed you.” Alex smiled brightly.

“I missed you too… a lot more actually. I want to show you something now that you’re here.” Tobin plastered on a fake smile and beckoned Alex over.

Alex walked over to Tobin, gave her a kiss and sat in a chair next to her. Tobin opened the laptop, opened up the browser, and hit play. She clenched her jaw as she closely watched Alex’s facial expression as she watched the video. The video ended and Alex turned to Tobin and was cut off before she could even open her mouth.

“Explain this to me.” She stated quietly but firmly. Alex sighed.

“That’s Servando. For the past 2 or so years I was dating him. A year ago I met you and fell for you. However, I didn’t stop dating Servando. For the past year I have been dating both of you. I loved both of you and I couldn’t let go of either one of you so I kept both of you a secret from each other.” Alex looked down as she fiddled with her hands.

“So you’ve been cheating on me?”

“Technically yes.” Alex looked up.

“Why?”

“I couldn’t let go of both of you.”

“So you thought secretly dating both us was the answer? Do you realize how selfish and ridiculous that sounds?” Tobin was amazed how Alex could think that was a rational decision.

“I know it was selfish and wrong but you both made me so happy and at the time I thought that it was a good plan and no one would get hurt. But the guilt ate away at me because it felt so wrong to lie to you.”

“Oh, well if you felt guilty than everything is okay.” Tobin sarcastically countered as she rolled her eyes.

“Don’t with the sarcasm. I really felt bad. Then he found out about you when he read a text you sent to me when I was staying at his house one night. We got into a huge fight. About a week ago I went to end things with him but he was so sad looking and wanted to make things work and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had chosen you. The past week that I spent with him only made me realize even more how much I need and want you because everything I did with him I would image it was you with me. When you sent me the last text message about not hearing from me and wanting me to come home, it was the last straw and I knew I had to end it with him for good. He tried to plead with me but I didn’t want anything to do with him. I only wanted you.” Alex went to grab Tobin’s hand but she pulled back.

“Don’t even try that with me. You’re basically only telling me all this because you got caught. You didn’t cover your tracks and you were found out so you backpedaled and thought that if you tried to fix it, you would be forgiven and all would be right in the world. Well I’m sorry to break it to you, but that proves nothing to me and means nothing to me. If you really cared about me and this relationship, you wouldn’t have waited until you got caught to tell me what was going on. As a matter of fact, you wouldn’t have even continued with Servando if you fell for me like you claimed you did. Hell, I would have even been okay with you telling me about Servando at the beginning stages of what we started BEFORE I fell in love with you and we could have worked through it. But no, you had to be selfish and have your cake and eat it too.” Tobin spat.

“Tobin you have to believe me. Yes it was fucked up what I did. It was selfish and wrong and stupid and I wish I could take it back. I was actually planning to tell you everything so we can move forward. I want to move forward with you, I want to be free with you, and I don’t want this horrible secret inhabiting our happiness. I love YOU Tobin Heath. He means nothing to me anymore.” Alex pleaded her case.

“There shouldn’t have had been a secret in the first place! Do you know what this relationship meant to me? It meant EVERYTHING to me! I put so much trust and faith in you. I struggled with my faith in God about falling for you. It took me a while to finally realize that God made me this way and it was okay to love you. I even told Perry and Katie about you! That was a big deal for me. I may have not told my whole family yet but I was willing to take that risk… FOR YOU! I wasn’t okay with hiding my feelings for you when all I wanted to do was scream that I was in love with you. I gave you all of me; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, literally all of me. And now I come to find out I had half of you. I had half your heart, half your mind, and half your soul. How is that fair? I look like a damn fool being so in love with you that I didn’t know you were cheating on me literally the entire relationship.” Tobin yelled and Alex saw something in her eyes she never saw before. _Shame and Regret._

“Tobin I-“

“Save your breath Alex. This relationship, or whatever it was to you, is over. You’ve crossed the line and I’m done. I’m no longer looking like a fool, I am no longer going to be hurt, and I am no longer going to be lied too. You need to figure your shit out because otherwise the next person to fall for you like I did will just be another victim. They’ll fall for the pretty face. They’ll fall for the raspy voice and laugh. They’ll fall for the gorgeous beaming smile. They’ll melt for the piercing blue eyes. And if you don’t change, it will all be for nothing but a broken heart while you’re having the time of your life. And that’s just not fair. I hope the next person is smarter than me.”

Tobin walked away and locked herself in the spare bedroom. Alex was shocked for a second, then scrambled to her feet to the bedroom Tobin was in and knocked.

“Tobin, please don’t do this. I am sorry and I want to make this work! You are the only one for me and I am sorry it took me a year of being selfish to realize that. I’m sorry I took advantage of you. I’m sorry it seemed like I didn’t care. I care about you so much. I care about you more than I care about myself. You’re my lifeline so please don’t cut me short. I love you Tobin. I’m in love with you. Please Tobin. Open the door.” Alex pleaded as she spoke through the door.

“Tobin, please. Do you hear me?” She pleaded and she started to cry.

“Please.” She whispered.

Upon hearing nothing, Alex slid to the floor as she sobbed. Inside on the opposite side of the door, Tobin heard her loud and clear. She heard it all and as she stood staring at the door, one hand firmly planted against the door as if to try to feel for Alex’s hand and crying silently, she almost opened the door.


	6. You Left Me Unbalanced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can everything broken be fixed?

Tobin finally found the strength to move from her spot a few hours later and moved to grab her duffle bags from the corner and took her phone out of her pocket.

**Tobin: Yo, if it’s not too much trouble, can I crash for a while at your place?**

**Kelley: Of course. Everything okay?**

**Tobin: Nothing is okay. I’ll see you in like an hour.**

She went for the closet first and threw her clothes haphazardly into her duffle bag. Moving onto the drawers, one by one she emptied them into her second and last duffle. Tobin was never one to have many possessions. Upon the last drawer at the bottom of the dresser, Tobin stopped and sat on the floor just staring. It was her drawer so it was all her hoodies but what made her stop was the one hoodie that didn’t belong to her. She dragged her fingers over the front of the fabric and traced the lettering and her brain took her down memory lane.

**_**_ ** _Flashback**_

**_“_ ** _Tobs I can’t find my Cal hoodie! Have you seen it?”_

_“Sorry Lex but I didn’t. Check the closet because it could have easily gotten lost in there with all your stuff.” Tobin chuckled as she watched Sports Center._

_“Babe that’s not funny! I need it to travel with. It’s my good luck charm when traveling! I don’t feel safe without it.” Alex pouted as she went to her closet._

_Tobin felt guilty and walked into the bedroom and got her attention._

_“Well I wouldn’t want anything happening to you so I’ll be honest and tell you that I stole it and it’s in my bottom drawer. I took it with me when I went to visit my family for the weekend last month. Even though I was home around family, I was homesick from you and missed you terribly. It helped me sleep at night because it smelt like you. Since it was warm here, I knew you wouldn’t miss it. I forgot to put it back.” Tobin looked down guiltily._

_Alex just stared at Tobin with nothing but love and affection in her eyes. Tobin was the cutest ever. She grinned at Tobin, gave her a kiss, and went into her drawer._

_“I’m sorry I forgot to put it back.” Tobin went to open her drawer._

_“How cute are you? You know what, keep it. But I’m taking your UNC hoodie as a replacement.” Tobin grinned and kissed her._

_“I think I can live with that.”_

_**End Flashback**_

Tobin blinked back a few tears and shut her drawer leaving the Cal hoodie inside. For a second she thought about going into Alex’s drawer and getting her UNC hoodie but decided against it. (It would have smelt like her anyway) She thought to herself. Grabbing her bags, she wrapped her hand around the doorknob, preparing herself to avoid any possible eye contact with Alex and to get out as quickly as possible.

When she opened the door, she stopped in her tracks at the sight in front of her. Alex was fast asleep wrapped in a blanket and curled in a ball against the wall on the floor by the door. The sight made Tobin consider putting her bags down and waking the girl to talk but quickly shook her head, grabbed her surfboard, and left the condo. She threw her stuff in her car and sent out two texts.

**Tobin: Leaving. See you soon.**

**Tobin: You broke so many things. You broke the commandment on not lying. You broke trust. But most of all? You broke us and you broke my heart.**

\--------------------

Alex woke up and couldn’t understand why her back hurt so much. She blinked her eyes a few time and was disoriented for a moment, but then realized she must have fallen asleep waiting for Tobin to come out. When her vision was completely clear of sleep, she noticed the door open to the spare bedroom and immediately stood up. Peering inside, she saw no sign of Tobin. She looked around the condo and found no sign of the midfielder. (I would have heard her leave.) She thought for a few more minutes before reaching in her pocket for her cellphone.

1 new message. Tobs <3

She clicked opened the message and it felt like someone had punched her straight in the stomach. The harshness and coldness of Tobin’s message made her heart sink. Alex tried calling Tobin but was unsurprised when it went straight to voicemail.

“Yo it’s Tobs. You know what to do.”

“Tobin, I know I broke a lot of things but there is one good thing. Almost anything that is broken can be fixed. We can fix this. We can fix us. Please call me back.” Alex hung up the phone and plugged it in while she made coffee. She would wait for Tobin to call back.

And she waited the next day.

And she waited the next week.

She even waited the following week.

After the first week, Alex had called a few times. But after receiving the same fate five or six times, she decided to wait in silence. Tobin would call eventually. She had too right?

But the call never came.

Finally, a month had gone by and while Alex tried to not give up faith, her hope was slowing diminishing. The reality and heaviness of the situation had finally started to hit Alex low and hard. She messed up and it seemed like Tobin really did not want to fix what was broken.

\--------------------

“Come on Tobs! This is going to be the one!” Kelley cheered her friend on as she bobbed on her surfboard in the water.

The duo had gone surfing and they’ve been in the water for almost an hour and Tobin just could not ride a wave if her life depended on it. Her form was flawless standing up, but it seemed like once she was standing, the wave had other plans and would knock her off the board.

SPLASH.

And this attempt was no different. Kelley paddled over to Tobin who had surfaced and slammed her fist on the board as she hopped on it.

“Dude is everything okay? No offense, but you are so far off your game today. You can usually ride these waves with your eyes closed.” Kelley asked once she reached Tobin.

“I don’t know man. I think it’s just an off day.” Kelley furrowed her brows at that.

“Yeah, but you have yet to hit even ONE.”

“Dude, it’s just an off day.” Tobin countered.

“But-“

“I said it’s an off day. That’s all it is Kell! I’m done surfing for the day.” Tobin cut Kelley off and paddled to shore.

Kelley was taken aback by the usually calm girl for a moment and then finally paddled after her. Tobin had reached shore first and slammed her surfboard to the ground by their stuff before plopping face down on her towel. Kelley reached shore and walked to their stuff.

“You okay?” She asked cautiously.

Tobin sighed and lifted her head to look at Kelley.

“No. It’s been a month and my whole balance on life is off.” Tobin sighed.

“You should talk to her.” That made Tobin snort.

“Yeah, so I can listen to her empty pleas of being sorry? I’m sorry but you don’t cheat on someone for a year and then claim to be sorry.”

“Maybe she really is sorry Tobs. I saw the way you two were with each other and I truly feel like she is telling you the truth when she says she’s IN love with you. Yeah she lied and cheated on you for a year but maybe you should CALMLY sit and have a talk with her. I’m not saying forget; I’m saying move on and maybe forgive.” Kelley offered.

Tobin was quiet for a few minutes as Kelley’s words kept repeating in her head. Maybe she should talk to Alex. What they had was something special, so was she willing to let that all go for some secret? But that was the problem and it wasn’t just some sweep under the rug and move on secret. Alex had lied and cheated on Tobin for a year. Her Alex. The Alex she fought with her faith for. The Alex that had stolen her heart the second she finished the sentence “Hey, my name’s Alex.” The Alex that heated up a friendship to a fiery explosion of passion and excitement. It was hands down the best year of her life and Alex still had a slight hold on her heart. And that’s what bothered her the most.

“Maybe.” Was all she said to Kelley and was thankful that girl knew when to drop things. That’s what she loved most about Kelley.

The two fell into mindless chatter as they tanned for a while before packing up and going back to Kelley’s house. They settled in with delivery and a movie before retreating to their rooms. Tobin sat on the side of the bed as she mindlessly scrolled through twitter as Kelley’s words crept back into her thoughts.

(Should I talk to her?) Tobin thought as she twirled her phone in her hand while debating whether or not text Alex. She thought about it for a few minutes before going into her voicemail and listening to Alex’s last message.

“Tobin I know you’re hurt and you have every right to be mad. I’ll stop calling but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop caring. I just need you to know something. I knew I loved you but the day we became official was the day I fell IN love with you. I looked into your eyes and I didn’t see just you, I saw my future flash in those hazel eyes. And my future had absolutely everything to do with you. I never felt that with him or with anyone for that matter. I love you Tobin Heath. Always have and always will. If and when you are ready, I will be here. I’m not giving up. I may have broken us, but I will do whatever it takes to fix us.”

She listened to the message twice. She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know how to feel. She twirled the phone in her hand again as she thought the whole situation over. Can the girl that completely broke her heart, be the girl to mend it back together?

Tobin finally put the phone down on the nightstand a little while later as she got into bed and stared up at the ceiling. She had an answer; she just didn’t know if it was the right one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does Tobin decide to call or to ignore? Hmm....


	7. Fix Or Fail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Broken silence and a decision. Will everything be fixed or will they crash and burn?

Alex tried to hold on for as long as she could. But after a month and a half of silence from Tobin, her hope started to fade into complete nothingness.

‘What’s the point of waiting anymore? I know I shattered our relationship but there has to be some metaphoric glue to piece it back together…there just has to be.’ Alex sighed and decided to take a shower hoping the water will wash away all the despair to leave room for a new light of hope.

She turns on the water.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

She doesn’t hear her phone ringing and buzzing on the night table.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

“Hey it’s Alex. Sorry I missed your call but please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!”

Alex got out of the shower a half hour later still feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. She got dressed and brushed out her hair before finally deciding that a day with Kelley was just what she needed to distract her and get her mind off Tobin. She picked up her phone and froze in her spot almost dropping the phone. She peered down at the screen.

**1 missed call and voicemail: Toby <3**

She internally winced shaky hands at the fact she wasn’t strong enough to have changed the name in her phone to Tobin. After taking a few deep breaths to calm her shaky sweaty hands and thumping heart, she unlocked her phone and listened to the message.

“Uh hello Le-Alex. It’s me Tobin and I was wondering if we could meet up to talk. Uh I guess give me a call when you get this if you want. So yeah. Later.”

Her breath hitched at the message and the almost slip of her nickname she only let Tobin use. She thanked God that she was so close to the bed because sooner or later she felt like her legs would give out. She sat on the bed just staring at the phone.

Tobin called AND left a message. Tobin wanted to talk; a month and a half of silence broken by one phone call. Alex waited and wanted nothing more than this moment and now that it was finally here, she didn’t know how to feel. Her finger hovered shakily over the call back number for a few moments before taking her finger away and placing the phone down. SHE waited a month and a half; Tobin could wait an hour.

Alex’s resolve lasted 15 minutes before grabbing the phone. She took a deep breath in and held it as her hand hovered over the call back number, this time calling back.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Her pulse quickened and she felt like she was about to vomit.

Ring. Ring. Ri- “Hello?”

She tried to respond but no words came out as she froze at the sound of the shakiness of the usually calm girl.

“Hello? Alex is that you?”

She still couldn’t speak. Hearing Tobin sigh into the receiver as she was about to hang up when her words found their voice.

“Hi Tobin, I’m here.” She heard Tobin sigh again, but this time with uneasy relief.

“How are you?” Tobin asked

“I could be better. How are you?”

“Just about the same as you.”

There was an awkward silence and Alex paused not knowing what to say.

‘It was never like this. We never have awkward silences. When words would fall short, we were content with the comfortable silence of just being near each other. Now it feels like we are strangers meeting for the first time. We never had to go through the friend making process. We never had to get acquainted and set up a hang out to decide if we like each other or not. Tobin and I just worked and immediately clicked.”

Alex sighed and decided enough with the beating around the bush. It just wasn’t in her nature to dance around issues.

“Why did you call?”

Tobin was caught off guard from the broken silence and cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Why did you call?” Annoyance of repeating herself evident in the forward’s voice.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh you do? What changed because it’s been almost two months but who’s counting?” Alex challenged. She knew she shouldn’t be like this since she was the reason they were in this position but she was frustrated.

Tobin sighed knowing how Alex is, decided to take a cautious approach. She was never good with conflict anyway. “I know. But I would like to meet up talk if you’re okay with it.”

Alex paused for a few moments and a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. Tobin was always thoughtful even when Alex was in the wrong. But she wasn’t going to tell Tobin that.

Tobin waited on the other end of the phone growing more anxious the longer they sat in silence.

“When and where?” Alex finally broke the silence.

“Is tomorrow at 4 at Parker Field okay?”

“That’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Cool. See you tomorrow.”

She hung up the phone and a whole new set of nerves flooded over her. After waiting so long for any sign of Tobin, she finally got one. Tomorrow she would be face to face with Tobin and hopefully mend them back together.

\--------------------

Unknown to each other, both Alex and Tobin still worked the same way. Both fell in a restless sleep as they tossed and turned in their beds. Both busied themselves the next morning with meaningless tasks to distract their wandering minds.

Alex didn’t need to rearrange her entire living room… but she did.

Tobin didn’t need to fold every single pair of her socks 5 times… but she did.

Soon it was 3:45 and both girls were headed to Parker field. Alex arrived first so she decided to shoot around while she waited for Tobin. She sent a rocket shot into the back of the net and her concentration was broken when a voice came from her left.

“Nice power shot.” Tobin complimented as she walked towards her.

“Thanks.” Alex muttered as she retrieved the ball and dribbled in place.

Tobin then ran up the rest of the way and stole the ball from Alex.

“Go Long.” She shouted.

Alex stared for a heartbeat of a second before taking off and heading towards goal. Tobin started to dribble like she had a defender on her and sent a perfect long ball to Alex who slammed it in the top right corner of the net. Tobin offered a smile.

“Great shot.”

“Great pass.”

The two shared a smile before falling flat leaving them both awkwardly shifting from foot to foot.

“Look, Alex I hate fighting with you. Obviously we have something special and I really don’t want to lose that. You mean something special to me.” Tobin started and Alex tried to fight the smile that was threatening to creep up on her face.

“But I don’t think I can do an ‘us’. You broke a lot of my trust and that is something I just can’t brush under the rug. However, I really believe in due time you will fully regain my trust again. It is us we are talking about; everything is just so natural and easy for us. We have amazing chemistry on and off field and everything just works. I don’t want to constantly stress and worry what you are doing when we are apart. To me, that screams controlling and I don’t do controlling. I don’t want to have the title of controlling and insecure girlfriend. Honestly, I think the perfect fit for our situation is friends; no pressure and no tension.”

Alex’s threatening smile immediately fell and she didn’t know it was possible for her heart to break anymore. It was one thing to be the one holding the hammer that smashed her heart to pieces, but now Tobin was holding that hammer and that hurt more than anything else.

“Tobin I don’t think I can be just friends with you. I know I broke your trust but trust me when I tell you that you are the only one for me. YOU make me happy. YOU make me stronger. YOU make me a better person. Sure I can be the best I can be myself, but what good is that when I can do it with you by my side?” Alex pleaded as she tried to fight the tears stinging her eyes threatening to fall.

Tobin offered her a sad smile.

“I promise you Lex that I will still be there by your side. I just think that this is the best decision.” Tobin softened and wrapped her in a hug.

Alex tightened her hold as if holding on for dear life and stopped fighting her tears as they silently fell onto Tobin’s shirt.

“I love you Tobin. I rather have you as my best friend than somebody I used to know…. Oh god that was so cheesy and embarrassing.” She groaned as she buried her head further into Tobin’s neck. Tobin laughed and the vibrations from her throat vibrated against Alex causing her to laugh and smile as well.

“Way to reword a classic cliché.” They both chuckled.

Tobin then pulled back and looked Alex in the eye and smiled a bright grin hoping the forward will be okay with just friends.

“I love you too Alex. This will be good for us.”

“I trust you.” Alex smiled back.

The two hugged once more and then parted ways. As Tobin was walking away, Alex called after her and turned around quirking an eyebrow.

“We’re going to be okay.” Alex smiled.

“I trust you.” Tobin flashed her goofy grin feeling relived that the forward was okay with everything and that the two of them would be okay and then turned on her heels and left.

Alex continued on her way as Tobin’s “I trust you” swirled in her thoughts.

‘Maybe things will be okay after all.’ She smiled to herself as she walked to her car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you all enjoyed this chapter. I'm tempted to leave this as the last chapter but also make one more with an undetermined outcome as of right now. Let me know what you all think! All type of feedback is welcomed and appreciated :)


	8. Just Friends or Just Kidding?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just friends isn't working so what now?

Being just friends was surprisingly easier than both girls thought. At first, Tobin was unsure of her decision in the first week when she tried to avoid Alex’s touch like the plague when her skin nearly set on fire when their arms accidently brushed against each other when Tobin jumped on the couch during movie night one night. Pushing all doubts and concerns aside, Tobin decided to let go and it couldn’t have been a better decision. For Alex, she bit back her yearning for Tobin in order to respect the older girl’s wishes. Sure it was a burden to pine for the midfielder in secret, but if it meant Tobin still stuck by her side, then so be it. If silence is what caused Tobin to hold on just a tad longer during their hugs and stand a little closer during practice or out with friends somewhere, than Alex would never utter another word about her feelings again.

So being just friends had finally worked and was accepted..... For a while.

\--------------------

“Tooooooobin! Get up! We have to meet Kelley in 30!” Alex poked at the girl’s side.

“5 more minutes.” Tobin sleepily slapped at Alex’s poking fingers and turned on her side.

“Oh no you don’t! Up!” Alex raised her voice and she slapped Tobin’s ass.

Tobin rolled back over with furrowed eyebrows and accusing eyes.

“Did you just slap my ass?”

“Me? Nope you are mistaken but now that you’re up, go get ready!” Alex smiled innocently.

“Okay I guess I’ll go get ready and-“Tobin stopped midsentence and darted out to grip Alex by the waist. In one fluid motion, Tobin pulled Alex down on the couch and flipped as she straddled her hips and launched a tickle attack on Alex’s rib cage.

“Ahh- Tobin stop- no tickles- I’m sorr- I’m sorry!“ Alex gasped in between her fits of giggles. Tobin smirked triumphantly down at Alex.

“Next time think before you attack. You can’t win against me.”

Tobin grinned wider and moved to get off Alex. She missed the mischievous grin that flashed across Alex’s face. As she extended her right leg to give her leverage to push off of Alex, Alex hooked her hands around the back of Tobin’s upper thighs and lifted her up and onto her back. She locked her legs around Tobin’s waist as Tobin looked her in the eyes dumbfounded. Alex leaned down and hovered just inches over Tobin’s face.

“You know I’m competitive. Never challenge or question me.” She whispered and Tobin visibility shuttered as minty breath hit her face.

The two stared at each other daring the other to move first as Tobin’s hand raised and ghosted over Alex’s left thigh and rested on her hip with a gentle squeeze. Alex’s breaths hitched at the contact. As much as she wanted to run her hands up and down Tobin’s toned arms and lean down to connect their lips, she didn’t dare for the sake of their agreement.

“You uh- need to go ready. Kelley wants to meet for lunch and then head to the surf shop.” Alex cleared her throat and pushed off Tobin and headed towards her bedroom.

Frozen in her spot from Alex on the couch, Tobin blinked back into reality and slowly got up to head to her own room.

‘What the hell just happened?’

They regrouped in the living room and headed out to pick up Kelley with one still shocked from the electricity running through her veins while the other nervous to have ruined the light supposed to be ‘just friends’ mood.

\-------------------

Halfway through lunch, Tobin excused herself to use the bathroom.

“Kelley I am in deep trouble!” Alex gasped.

“What did you do and do I have to hide a body?” Kelley asked very seriously.

“Shut up smartass. No seriously, I don’t know how much longer this ‘just friends’ arrangement is going to work with Tobin. Today I went to wake her up from a nap and I hit her ass to wake her up. Then she flung me to the couch and tickled me then taunted me! You know how competitive I am and I wanted to wipe the smug look off her face so I flipped her back and I leaned down to tell her to not challenge me because I will win. Then she grabbed at my hip and we went into this stare down and the urge to kiss her was almost unbearable. I quickly got off and went for my room to regain my composure.” Alex ran a nervous hand through her hair.

“Dude, you need to tell her. You two can’t keep dancing around each other. Sooner or later, one of you is going to crack. If one cracks at the wrong time, your “friendship” will be over for good.”

“You don’t think I know that?! I should have never agreed to this arrangement. To be honest, I don’t think me and Tobin were ever ‘just friends’.”

Kelley snorted at that. “Dude, everyone called that from the moment you two introduced yourselves to each other.”

“Shut up.” Alex narrowed her eyes and chuckled as Tobin bounded back to the table.

The girls paid for lunch and headed to the surf shop. After browsing the new line of boards, Alex’s eyes caught a blue bathing suit that she knew she just had to try on. Going towards the dressing room, she called out to the girls to come over to give their opinions. Feeling satisfied with the look in the mirror, Alex threw back the curtain for the opinions of her friends.

“That bathing suit is so cute Al! And it makes your eyes pop! What a babe.” Kelley clapped her hands with delight and a chuckle.

Alex smiled and looked over at Tobin for her approval. Tobin openly gawked at Alex as she took in the girl before her. Her tanned and toned body darker against the neon colors of the bathing suit. Her abs looking more accentuated and defined as the muscles contracted with Alex’s laughter and movement.

“Toby?” Alex waved her hand in front of Tobin’s face and Tobin blinked wildly and cleared her throat.

“Oh gosh sorry I zoned out. Bathing suit looks great Lex! You should totally get it.” She laughed nervously and turned to go look at the rack of board shorts far away from the dressing room feeling embarrassed.

Alex cocked an eyebrow at Kelley and Kelley shrugged.

“Maybe tell her sooner or later. Baby girl was checking you out. Looks like ‘just friends’ isn’t really working that well.”

Alex turned to change as Kelley went to find Tobin. She bounced up to Tobin but the other girl wouldn’t make eye contact as she flipped through the rack distractedly. Kelley knew not to push Tobin and that Tobin would talk when she was ready. That doesn’t mean she couldn’t stare her down to try to hurry Tobin up with the talking.

“Dude I don’t know if I can be just friends with Alex. It’s not really working anymore.” Tobin finally said as she picked up a pair of shorts.

“Dude, it was your decision in the first place. Why is it not working?”

“It was working! It’s just lately I can’t shake the feeling of wanting more from my head.”

“So then it’s not working.” Kelley snorted as she rolled her eyes.

The conversation cut short as they heard Alex call their names and they waved her over. Kelley shot a look at Tobin who rolled her eyes and the three continued to browse then headed for home.

\--------------------

“You are exhausting when you go shopping!” Tobin dramatically threw herself on the couch.

“Oh shut up. Who is the one who took 10 minutes to decide which pair of shorts to get? There were only 3 pairs you liked!” Alex challenged with a smirk.

“Says the one who picked up and put down the same bathing suit like 10 times that both me and Kelley said to get.” Tobin shot back.

Alex stuck out her tongue as she plopped next to Tobin and used her lap as a pillow as she searched the TV for something to watch. She found Pitch Perfect and happily left it on. Tobin started to play with Alex’s hair and rub her head which after a while, made Alex hum in delight and mindlessly start to draw patterns on Tobin’s exposed thigh.

The feeling of Alex’s fingers lazily dragging across her skin made her skin burn with an incredible sensation as the heat traveled up her thigh and rose all the way to her cheeks. Her body felt like it was on fire and while it was torturous and she wanted to make it stop, the electrified current flowing through her blood paralyzed her to the couch. After a few minutes of dizzying bliss, Tobin’s mind and muscles started working again and she moved to detach herself from Alex and bolted for the kitchen to grab water. She grabbed a bottle from the fridge and started to chug half the bottle. She started bouncing from foot to foot as she went to take another sip when she heard feet pad hesitantly into the kitchen.

“Tobs are you okay?” Tobin was startled by the raspy voice.

“Yeah, just thirsty.”

“Are you sure? You bounce on your feet when you’re nervous or bothered.”

Tobin sighed as she looked into the blue eyes that are either her savior or worst enemy depending on the day.

“Alex, is this just friends deal working for you?”

Alex was taken back from the question but quickly gathered herself.

“Yeah for the most part. Why?” Alex didn’t want to lie but felt like it was a trick question on Tobin’s part.

Tobin was fighting an inner battle with herself before sighing and walking up to Alex with false courage. She reached her hand out and placed her hand flat on Alex’s stomach and searched Alex’s face for any kind of reaction. She noticed Alex’s breath hitch at the contact and she wasn’t sure if she was just caught off guard or she reacted to her like Tobin reacted to Alex’s hands. She couldn’t ignore the fact that her hand was burning against the forward’s skin. Feeling bold, Tobin dipped her hand under Alex’s shirt and placed it flat on Alex’s abs while not breaking eye contact with those deadly baby blues. Alex’s eyes instantly turned a shade darker and squinted as she tried to not to react to the electric shock Tobin’s hand on her bare stomach was sending through her body.

She added more pressure as she backed Alex against the counter testing the reaction of not only Alex, but of herself as well.

“I don’t know about you.”

She dragged her fingers across Alex’s stomach as she gazed not _at_ Alex, but _through_ Alex.

“But I don’t think it’s working.”

Tobin then looked down suddenly feeling embarrassed because she is the reason they are in this predicament. She wanted to be just friends. She was the one who made this decision. And whether she knew what Alex was thinking or not, Tobin was hyper aware that she standing not even 6 inches from the girl incredibly turned on.

“Tobin?” Alex’s low rasp and hand on her chin broke through her thoughts causing her to look back at the forward.

“It’s not.” She rasped as she slammed their lips together, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck who immeditately wrapped around Alex’s waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it and I hope everyone enjoyed it if you stayed with me this long. Thanks for everything!


End file.
